By Ahmie Baum, CFP® CFBA
After 45 years as a family business advisor, I’ve seen how the most productive family conversations happen when people disagree thoughtfully. Not the heated arguments that can tear families apart, but the kind of back-and-forth where everyone learns something and agrees to a collective better outcome.
When my son Brian joined our firm, we had plenty of opportunities to practice this ourselves. Sometimes, we saw things differently, but instead of dismissing each other’s views, we learned to thoughtfully disagree and take time to understand the other person's point of view. This approach helps us build a stronger business and closer relationship.
These days, I see many family businesses struggle with communication, especially between generations. The older generation might say, “That’s not how we do things,” while the younger generation pushes for change. But when families learn to disagree thoughtfully—to really listen and explore different perspectives—it helps them to potentially turn obstacles into opportunities.
In this article, I share what thoughtful disagreement looks like and how it can transform difficult conversations into opportunities for growth. Drawing from both our firm’s experience and our work with clients, we explore practical ways to have these important discussions.
Thoughtful Disagreement Characteristics
When family businesses come to us, they often face tough conversations. I’ve sat with many families who struggle to discuss important issues without emotions running high. But over my 45 years in this business, I’ve learned that disagreement doesn’t have to be destructive. It has the potential to make families and their businesses stronger.
Let me share what works.
Considerate Communication
Utilize constructive criticism to offer feedback in a way that preserves relationships.
Avoid personal attacks by focusing on the issue instead of the individual; that person’s unrelated beliefs should not be used as a reason to dismiss their opinion.
Use “I” statements to express personal feelings without blaming others.
Ask for clarification if you don’t understand another person’s point.
Stay calm and respectful at all times; raised voices and aggressive behavior never result in constructive communication. If necessary, take a break or set a time limit for a challenging conversation.
Active Listening
Seek to understand rather than be understood by using empathy and curiosity.
Be open-minded and receptive to diverse viewpoints, even if they differ from your own.
Strive for a full understanding of the other person’s perspective and be willing to change your mind if presented with compelling reasoning.
Concentrate on what the other person is saying, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
Long-Term Viewpoint
Consider the impact of decisions on future generations and family legacy.
Prioritize the long-term health of the business by carefully considering business sustainability issues.
Focus on the big picture by reminding yourself that the goal is to find a solvable approach.
Joint Problem-Solving
Work together to identify common goals.
Encourage creative thinking and explore multiple strategies.
Always be willing to compromise by finding mutually beneficial strategies.
Reframe the conversation if the discussion reaches an impasse.
External Advice
Consult a professional family business advisor who can help to:
Maintain a neutral stance to avoid emotional biases.
Mediate disagreements and find cohesive common ground.
Analyze the situation without personal biases or emotional attachments.
Provide unbiased recommendations based on facts and data.
We’re Here to Help
I know firsthand how challenging family business dynamics can be. As someone who built a business with their son, we understand both sides of the generational divide. These conversations are complex.
At Interchange Capital Partners, we bring more than just technical proficiency; we bring a real understanding of what you’re going through. If you’d like to explore how we can help your family have better conversations and make better decisions, I welcome you to reach out. You can email us at team@interchangecp.com or call our office at 412-307-4230 to schedule a conversation.
About Ahmie
Ahmie E. Baum is the founder and executive chairman of the board of Interchange Capital Partners, a premier family business advisory firm committed to empowering family-owned businesses. With over 45 years of experience, Ahmie specializes in guiding families to safeguard and grow their wealth through our strategic Clarity Foundation™.
Passionate about helping multi-generational family businesses, Ahmie excels at navigating their unique challenges, allowing them to focus on what they do best. One of his greatest joys is getting to know the firm’s clients personally, listening to their stories, understanding their journeys, and identifying and solving for the challenges that keep them up at night.
Ahmie collaborates closely with clients to help design comprehensive plans that address their obstacles, seize opportunities, and leverage their strengths. As he manages each family's complex and unique situations, Ahmie takes on their challenges as his own, fully committed to helping them work toward achieving their goals. His mission is to guide clients through their uncertainties, enabling them to move beyond their fears and confidently pursue their dreams.
Ahmie began his career at EF Hutton in 1979, eventually rising to the position of Senior Vice President. In 1993, he transitioned to Paine Webber, later acquired by UBS, where he spent nearly 27 years. During this time, he earned an Executive Certificate in Financial Planning from Duquesne University and obtained his CFP® designation. He holds a Certificate in Family Business Advising (CFBA) from the Family Firm Institute. He has been actively involved with Strategic Coach, an internationally renowned entrepreneurial coaching program, for over 20 years. Additionally, he has earned certificates from The Growth Institute, specializing in business growth, scaling, and cash management.
When he’s not working, Ahmie enjoys spending time with his wife, Sara, their three children, and three grandchildren. He recognizes that health is wealth, so he has committed to daily yoga, meditation, and plant-based eating. His other hobbies include woodturning, golf, reading, listening to music, and biking. He is active in his community, has served as the Foundation Chair of the Jewish Federation Community Foundation of Greater Pittsburgh, and supports various philanthropic endeavors. To learn more about Ahmie, connect with him on LinkedIn.
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